Oh, the things that can happen with time

It has been over six years since I first met him and my fondness for him has never decreased. We went to a concert together last Monday and my heart was again drawn to him in an unusual and unique way. It has been a very long time since I have prayed and been brought to tears over someone's soul in the way that I have been this past week. I love him dearly and I am broken for his brokenness. I see God pursuing his heart, and him resisting the Lord. I see the love he has for God, without even realizing that's what it is. Oh Lord, how can I best serve him in light of you? How can I continue to put you first when I am being tugged at to love him? Lord, give me strength and have mercy upon me. You promise that you will go before me and be with me, I am counting on that.

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This past weekend was one filled with muchness. Much friends, much thinking, much driving, much fun, much love. Friday: Ladies Happy Hour followed by Game Night. Saturday: Picking up opera tickets from grandparents, cake decorating class with a friend followed by yummy Cracker Barrel lunch, momentary rest, Verdi's Rigoletto, movie with a friend. Sunday: blessed service at church, cultural enrichment visiting Little Kurdistan in Nashville, grocery shopping with a friend and visiting her house, dinner with family, mental illness movie and project.

The best and, to me, most interesting part of all this...I saw three out of my four crushes at several points this weekend. Two on Friday, one on Saturday, and then all three on Sunday...actually sat with all three of them over lunch in Little Kurdistan. Doing coffee with one Wednesday night after small group to talk about his trip to Africa.

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I have always wondered if the Lord wants me to be a missionary in a foreign land. I have always hesitated to take steps in that direction because I also have a heart for travel in general. Does my desire stem from God or from self? Please pray as I see the Lord working in my church and in my heart, that He would show me in ways that I cannot ignore, what He wants for me and from me. I question if he is calling me to counsel in other countries with these victims of war - the children soldiers and the young mothers who are only mothers because they were gang raped. I don't need a degree to do that, I just need to go.