A Real Relationship

I currently find myself sitting in a coffee shop at the University I am attending. As I listen to Poor Rich Folk's I Do I look around & find myself observing those around me. I see cross necklaces & Bibles & lots of Macs as students study.

And I'm struck with the thought, 'How many of them really have a relationship with Christ?' Is He real to them...more than an idea & a way to a happy, pretty, nice, afterlife if such a thing exists?

Don't get me wrong, I question because I believe. And I am constantly striving to have a very real relationship with Him. I want that for others. I want them to know that He is real, to experience that. No, I don't think about Him all the time, not do I talk to Him all the time. I'm not perfect.

Then I think about what I am doing to help others see how real He is. Well, it's not much. I don't step out or speak up often. And I certainly don't speak of Christ to those I don't already know. Here recently I've found myself more & more often leaning into Christ during my conversations though.

When the opportunity to share how He has impacted my life, that's where I typically go. When I can share how He has appeared in the lives of my friends, I go there. When I can relate to an experience or a situation that someone is it & I have either had Christ there in my life personally or seen Him in the lives of those I know, I tell the person I'm speaking to about it. I want them to know. I want them to feel His love & see His works in my life & in the lives of my friends if it can help me relate.



What are you searching for?

Ramblings about the general everyday.

I want to be profound here, but let's be honest...all anyone can do is just be. Life, with all its eccentricities and wonders, can be both beautiful and devastating. We seem to spend all our time looking for something or someone. And in the end, we still haven't found it or them.

I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that very little in life is a given. Change is constant and God is absolute. Christ is, was, and is to come. Other than that, what do we have?

We have what we are allowed: our choices, the breath that we are taking, our minds, and our hearts. We have ourselves, as much as that is possible.

Some might argue that we have others: those we call family, friend, or acquaintance.

But I look at them and say, do you really have them? Or are you just allowed their company for the time being? How well can you really know someone else if you can't fully come to know yourself?

We are on this earth for but an instant, such a short period of time that we don't even have a good comparison, a good analogy for that shortness.

So what will you do with your time? Who will you love? Where will you go?

Boys, boys, boys...

In talking with some girlfriends this past weekend, I was convinced to start a blog. I think they wanted me to start one partly because I write and partly because they wanted to hear about my guys more often and in more detail. So here you are ladies, with...well, most...of the gory details.

For those of you who've know me for a while, you know that I've always been the girl with crushes. For those of you who don't know, in high school I believe I had a crush on at least one new guys each week. And most weeks, I was crushing on more than one guy. My first serious relationship wasn't until college and boy was that a train wreck!

Cut to present, about three years post-break-up: I've joined eHarmony (eH), yes, that's right...eHarmony (eH). We'll avoid talking about whether or not you should use it and instead I'll say that I've been dating/talking to a guy I met through eH for about two months now. We've had great dates. He's fun to be with. And yes, the boy can kiss! I heartily approve of the affection he gives.

Here's the catch...about two months before we started dating/talking the girl that he'd been dating moved four hours away to go to school. There was one night that he'd asked her to be his girlfriend and she said 'Let me think about it.' They both knew four hours was a long ways away and neither of them would be able to travel to see the other person very much. Because she hesitated, he started rethinking and by the time they got back together (the next day, I think) he'd decided it would be a bad decision to be committed to each other while being that far apart. She said he gave up too easily and they she was going to say yes.

Well guess what the cat dragged in? You got it...she's baaaack! And supposedly it's partly because of him. But see, here's what I don't get about the whole thing... 1) If she was going to say yes and he was interested to begin with, what went wrong just before she left? I would've talked things through with the guy if I were in her position and would like to have left as his girlfriend...even if it didn't work out in the long run. 2) If part of the reason behind why she moved back is him, why hasn't she been spending more time with him? Why, when he asked her to go out with him, did she say she needed to think about it (again, may I point out). 3) Why, after he'd stuck around for over two weeks waiting for an answer from her and he finally tells her he's beginning to wear thin waiting, does she say, "Well then why are you waiting?"

Doesn't sound like she wants him to me.

So...at this point I guess I should tell you that I've never been the girl who just casually dates. I know if I want a relationship with a guy and I want him to be with just me. If I don't think he has husband potential chances are I'm not going out with him. This guy has that potential. And bit by bit he's getting pieces of my heart, hard as I may try to keep them from him. So this whole dating/talking thing we're doing just keeps getting progressively harder. In an attempt to cope with this, I've decided to have fun flirting with the two cuties in some of my grad classes.

I'm not taken and as he can't make up his mind between me and this other girl I'm going to make it a point to try and keep my mind open too. One of these cuties from class has been doing the backwards glance at me for a few weeks now...but he didn't have the balls to talk to me. Finally last week I asked him to come out for dinner and drinks with me and another girl from class.

He faltered. He asked some questions. Then he told me that he's not a drinker, he's pretty straight laced, and actually he was headed home to study. But.....we should do coffee sometime. When do I get on campus? As I work a full time job, I'm not leaving work until an hour before class. So after class? Yes, but he'll have to give me a heads up because I don't generally stick around after class. He still hasn't said anything to me and we've had two more class since then. Maybe he'll get his nerve up tonight.

But the other cutie happens to actually sit next to me in this class. I knew I liked him from day one...I just didn't know I liked him as a potential husband until we looked into each others eyes and he smiled. Ladies, have you ever had that moment when your heart seems to stop and you can't breathe and it's all because of some boy? That was this moment for me. Never, and I mean never, have I ever seen a smile so mesmerizing, so infecting, and so gorgeous! I have to see this smile more often!

I leave for class in less than an hour. Two out of my three boys will be there. So what's my plan? To smile, to flirt, and to ask Mr. S how I can make him smile more often. I simply must know.

With love,
Sofi