A Prayer

I'm tired of waiting and these feelings of dissatisfaction. Why is my heart not thrilled to be loved by You O Lord? Renew in me a passion for You, for the things of Your heart.

In Colossians Paul and Timothy say:

"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."

Lord, may this be true for me.

Casting Crowns has a song out now called Somewhere In The Middle and one of the lines says, "Just how close can I get Lord, to my surrender, without losing control?" I believe this is perhaps one of my biggest faults and worries and obstacles. I want the control. I don't want to give that up because I fear being lost. The irony is, I already feel lost and I do have the control. Lord, I want to get to a place where I have no doubt in You. Right now, I feel like that's not where I am, not completely. I still act in ways that say I don't fully trust in You - what You say, what You'll do - and I don't like that about myself.